Day 13 - No 'Ragrets'
In the movie, Meet the Miller's, there is a character who showed off his favorite tattoo to other characters. He proudly said, "that's my motto - no regrets." Another character asked him, "You have no regrets? Not even one letter?" If you couldn't tell by the spelling, the movie is a comedy. As we know, there is nothing funny about regrets. Regrets can tear us up on the inside; they can haunt our days, years, and even decades later.
During Elul, we read Psalm 27 every morning and evening. The Psalm ends with the following two lines:
לוּלֵא הֶאֱמַנְתִּי לִרְאוֹת בְּטוּב־יְי בְּאֶרֶץ חַיִּים׃
Had I not the assurance that I would enjoy the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living…
קַוֵּה אֶל־יְי חֲזַק וְיַאֲמֵץ לִבֶּךָ וְקַוֵּה אֶל־יְי׃ {פ}
Look to the LORD; be strong and of good courage! O look to the LORD!
In the book of Psalms, the word Luilei has dots over it (below):
The scribal dots train our eyes to look deeper into the connections the word has: Luilei backward spells Elul. Elul is an introspective month, and introspection invites regret, and yet, we are constantly told to live life without regrets! We only have a limited time on earth and many of us have lived with lost opportunities due to a year and a half of Covid. In the face of what many deem as lost time, our instinct tells us 'Carpe Diem', seize the day! May we never live with regret again! But regret can also help us grow.
The Hasidic master Rebbe Nahman of Breslov used to tell his followers that they should treat their regrets like gifts. He said, “The agony of regret is not [truly] evil, for it increases your days and adds to your life. Each regret is actually an opportunity to learn about yourself and explore a concrete change for the future.” In other words, regrets are the fuel for Teshuvah.
Does regret make you weak though?
Brene Brown says, "'No regrets' doesn’t mean living with courage, it means living without reflection. To live without regret is to believe you have nothing to learn, no amends to make, and no opportunity to be braver with your life.”
Do you have no regrets, not even one letter?!? Sometimes just one misstated word, or a wrong turn, can stay with us until we bring it out of ourselves and into the world.
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