Day 12 - Sharing With Boundaries

 25 When you enter another man’s vineyard, you may eat as many grapes as you want, until you are full, but you must not put any in your vessel. 26 When you enter another man’s field of standing grain, you may pluck ears with your hand, but you must not put a sickle to your neighbor’s grain. 

- Deuteronomy 23:25-26

I lived in Israel for two years, and I visited a number of incredible wineries, but I never picked the grapes myself. As you may know, grapes are one of the seven species of vegetation that Israel is known for. This summer, I had the opportunity to go grape picking in South Carolina with a number of others. Picking grapes with others was an interesting experience as opposed to picking alone. It brought me back to our ancestor's experiences in the fields.

We learn many important mitzvoth in our parashah this week, Ki Teitzei, but the commandment above, this seems to be a bit odd at first glance, but give us a glimpse into how our ancestors built their society. First, it seemed that people passed through each other’s fields often, and in order for that to happen, there were probably few or even no fences. Can you imagine a society with no fences or gates? Having no boundaries between each other is not easy, so the Torah puts limits on our interactions. We can eat grapes until we are full, but not take more than what can be eaten on the spot. We can pluck ears of wheat with our hands, but only enough to make bread for ourselves. Interestingly enough, the two food items, grapes and wheat, turn into wine and challah, our sacred drink and food.

This is a transformational teaching not just for our ancestors, but for us today. Our synagogue's name is, Shaarei Kodesh, translated means Gates of Holiness. In a city with so many gated communities, we strive to open our gates for each other. I often tell people that holy gates are meant to be open, but is not just the external gates that must be open, but also the internal gates, our own individual personal gates.

We must be open to each other - we must share our wine and challah, the foods we use at our Shabbat and holiday meals. We must share our stories with each other so we can broaden our own horizons.

When we share our food with others, when we invite them to our 'fields', in our case, our dinner tables, we invite relationships into our lives.

Writing Prompt

Recall a time when you shared a meal with strangers or people you would not think you would break bread with. How did you let your guard down during or after the meal? How did sharing that meal help you grow and improve? What boundaries did you still leave up that were necessary? What did you hold back in conversation because you weren't ready to share?

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